


Scars Like Poetry

by sinistercollyflower



Category: The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Brother-Sister Relationships, Depressed Newt, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Self-Harm, Soulmates, Suicide Attempt, Thomas would gladly give him one, it's less dark than it seems, newt needs a hug, nobody dies dw, too bad he can't, what else can i tag this sucker as, yet - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-07-04 16:46:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15845331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinistercollyflower/pseuds/sinistercollyflower
Summary: The scars started when he was 15.Gradually they became more frequent, and soon his soulmate seemed to injure themselves daily. Thomas knew they weren't just random injuries though. His fears are confirmed when, one day when he's 19, the words 'I hate you' appear on his skin, and the scars stop.He has to do something about it, but he isn't sure if he's too late.Soulmate au where your soulmate's scars appear on your skin.





	1. Almost Lost You

**Author's Note:**

> Inspiered by @mitfkl's soulmate au on tumblr  
> This is uploaded from my phone and unbeta'd. Will be edited properly when i get my hands on a laptop, sorry till then!  
> EDIT: now with proper spelling

It began when he was 15.

At first he thought that his soulmate was just clumsy, or that he liked to cook, because the scars were more scattered and not as frequent. But it didn't take too long for him to realise the truth. He was pretty sure he was seeing it in real time too.

Some soulmates got their partner's scars only when the wound completely healed, but there was also a rare instance when they got the marks at the time of injury. The marks wouldn't hurt, and they would appear as if the skin had been burned and slowly heal. Some felt the other's injury. Some said those kinds of soulmates could help each other heal faster. Thomas hoped to god that he was of that kind.

He thought he could feel the pain, sometimes. It didn't feel like a cut, exactly, but there was a twinge, like he'd been pinched hard enough for the feeling to linger. He thought of show much pain his soulmate must be in, and decided not to put them in more. From then on, he took extra care not to injure himself. His soulmate didn't need the added inconvenience of a clumsy fucker on the other side.

It went on like that for several years. The scars multiplied, Thomas stopped bothering to hide them. His soulmate apparently didn't though, they never reached further than what a long-sleeved shirt could cover, and stayed a safe distance from the end of the sleeve. There were some on his thighs, on his hips, he hated those the most. He hated the idea of being aware of someone's pain and not having a single clue how to help them, even though it was the only thing that really mattered to him at this point. He had no way of finding this person. They could be anywhere in the world, and even if he met them their scars would be hidden. He could have passed them on the street several times and wouldn't know. It was driving him nuts, this helplessness.

Then, one day, a new set appeared. And this one _hurt _. On his forearm, spanning it's length and covering the other scars still there, words were burned into his skin. "I Hate You"__

__

__He'd barely recovered from the shock when several new ones appeared, right on his previously clean wrists. Thomas felt like his blood had turned to ice. His knees gave out and he all but crumbled to the floor in the middle of his dorm, not taking his eyes off the new scars for a second. It was a good thing Minho had class right now because he would have asked questions and Thomas didn't think he would be coherent enough to answer._ _

__

__But he had to do something. His soulmate was dying and he couldn't just sit there._ _

__

__"911 what's your emergency?"_ _

__

__"I need-" he gulped in a breath, "I need to report a suicide attempt."_ _

__

__"What's the address?"_ _

__

__"I- I don't know..."_ _

__

__"Sir, how-"_ _

__

__"It's my soulmate, I can see the cuts, I can _feel _the blood loss, please is there any way,"_ _ __

__

__

__"Sir, that's impossible, what are your symptoms? It could just be a heatstroke."_ _

__

__"No, listen to me, I feel like I'm about to pass out, my head is feeling light, my heart is pounding, and there are fresh scars on my wrists that I hadn't put there! My soulmate is in danger and you're trying to convince me..."_ _

__

__"Sir? Sir!"_ _

__

__It all goes black after that._ _

__

__~_ _

__

__He wakes up in the college infirmary with Minho at his side. His friend explains to him that he'd found him on the floor with his phone still on the line with 911, and was talked through checking him over and bringing him here. When Minho asks what happened, Thomas just pulls up his left sleeve. It takes a moment, but Minho's eyes widen._ _

__

__"D'you think he's..."_ _

__

__Thomas shrugs, staring blankly at his lap. He doesn't know, there's no way to tell. He feels numb, empty. He brushes his thumb over the words on his forearm absently, then jerks his hand away in shock. Then he presses down on to the scar and hisses._ _

__

__"What are you doing?" Minho looks at him incredulously._ _

__

__"It hurts." Thomas mumbles, then, "It _hurts _! Minho, he's alive!" He shouts at his best friend who can't seem to choose whether to be shocked, relieved, or happy for him, but he's managing all three._ _ __

__

__

__

__"I have to..." Thomas looks around, then starts getting out of bed. Minho rushes to stop him._ _

__

__"Woah hey, you just woke up from a heatstroke or blood loss, either is bad. You shouldn't be running around yet." He tells him, but Thomas shakes his head._ _

__

__"I need to do this Minho, you can escort me if you want, but i'm doing this. Now where's my phone?"_ _

__

__Minho regards him for a moment, then hands him the phone silently. Thomas gives him a grateful smile. He finds he contact that he needs quickly._ _

__

__"Hey, Brenda. Are you free this afternoon? Great, meet me at the parlor. Yeah I am. Minho will come with me. See you."_ _

__

__~_ _

__

__Newt wakes up, which is an unexpected and unpleasant development, in a hospital, which is an even more unpleasant development. Sonia is sleeping in a chair next to his bed, so at least he's got that. He lets her sleep. She must've been through a lot today, she was the only one who could have found him. He grits his teeth, he should have gone to a hotel or something. Then he immediately regrets the thought. It was better for her to have found him alive than hear from a policeman that he'd killed himself._ _

__

__Sonia stirs in the chair, and Newt braces himself for tears and apologies, and everything else he needs to do for her to forgive him for this. He'd honestly do anything. She's the only one he has left, and the only reason he held out as long as he did._ _

__

__When she wakes up, Sonia launches herself at him with a cried "Newt! You're awake!"_ _

__

__Newt hugs her back with the one arm that's not hooked up to an IV and covered in bandages, ignoring the sting on his forearm. When she pulls away he takes her hands in his. Looks her in the eye._ _

__

__"I'm sorry." He tells her sincerely, "I'm so sorry that I even entertained the thought of leaving you alone here, let alone going through with it. But the worst part is, I don't know if it'll happen again. It's not entirely up to me and I hate that, but I can't do anything about it from where I am right now."_ _

__

__She nods, sniffs a bit and then smiles. "I know, Newt, I just hope I can help you now that I know." She let's go of his hand so she San cup his cheek, "I know it's hard, but could you tell me from now on? It's not a burden to me, I swear, just please let me help you." She knows him so well. He pulls her in for another hug._ _

__

__~_ _

__

__She stays with him throughout the rest of the night, but is forced to leave for school in the morning, on his insistence. He will be staying in the hospital for observation and maybe another transfusion a day or two more, and his doctor is already talking about therapy options. Truth be told, he doesn't know what to do. He's scared of therapy, he doesn't have the funds for the more praised programs and isn't sure if he trusts the community ones, but he doesn't want to disappoint Sonia. He owes her so much for this._ _

__

__Newt scratches his arm absentmindedly as he thinks. The healing wound itches and it takes him a while to realise it's his right one. He'd carved the hateful words into his left one._ _

__

__Eyes wide with realisation, he fumbles with his sleeve to uncover his forearm, and his breath hitches. There are words. In two neat rows, too clean to have been cut into the skin, though the handwriting is a bit weird, the burn-like scars on his skin show a sentence. "I love you, please don't go"_ _

__

__Newt hast to cover his mouth to prevent the sob from escaping. He _does _have a soulmate._ _ __

__

__

__

__He'd spent most of his adult life convinced that he was one of those rare cases that didn't have anyone at the other end. He'd told himself that he'd come to terms with it, but on the bad days, it'd come back to haunt him. That cruel little kick the universe added to his already bruised side._ _

__

__It seems that he was wrong. But maybe his soulmate doesn't want him. Why would they deliberately avoid letting him know they existed? Was the writing on his forearm for someone else? A coverup? He looks at the letters more closely. It's definitely a tattoo, but even though the letters aren't small, and are easily spotted amongst the myriad of his scars, they don't cover them completely. They don't make it messier either. Somehow the sentence fits with the scars, and Newt lets himself believe it's for him. His soulmate does care about him, and maybe he's not as alone as he'd thought. Another person is added to the very short list of reasons to keep going._ _

__

__He doesn't tell Sonia right away, and he gets in to the habit of brushing his right forearm absentmindedly after that. A few days later he's let free of the white hospital walls with handfuls of brochures for different therapies, and life continues as normal. Well, he's got someone to talk to, now that Sonia has found out, she pesters him about therapy every day, and he apparently has a soulmate as well. He's not sure what to make of that, or what to do about it. He knows his soulmate is an English speaker, or so he hopes, but that's still a huge focus group. He could try calling up every tattoo parlour in the UK and asking after the tattoo that was reflected on his own skin, but that'd be like looking for a needle in a haystack. Not to mention all the other english speaking countries. It's another two weeks before _that _particular situation gets another development._ _ __

__

__

__

__He's just stepping out of the shower when he notices it. There, just above his knee, written upside down in the tiniest letters, resides "Thomas Green, New Jersey. If you ever decide you want to look for me."_ _

__It's just enough information for Newt to be able to find him, if he wanted to._ _

__

__Thomas Green._ _

__

__Huh._ _

__

__~_ _

__

__It's been two months since Thomas had gotten his second tattoo. He's pretty sure his soulmate wants nothing to do with him. Maybe he should have chosen to contact them sooner, he should have thought of that tattoo long ago, maybe then he wouldn't resent him._ _

__

__But they were alive. He knew that much. There weren't any more self-harm scars but one day a small cut appeared on his finger, almost as if he'd cut himself with a kitchen knife. That was impossible, considering the closest Thomas had ever come to actual cooking was cup noodles, so it was his soulmate, he was sure of it. And that was enough for him. He'd come so close to losing them when he'd never even had him, and it hurt more than he'd ever dared to think it would. The fact that he might not meet them stung, but he did all he could and that thought soothed him. Now it was up to the other one to figure out what he wanted._ _

__

__That apparently happened at the two month mark. Thomas's mom had called for her weekly phonecall(they'd agreed to a weekly one even though she wanted to call him every day while he was away at college) and amongst the chit-chat she mentioned a letter._ _

__

__"Something came in the mail for you, by the way." She said, "I didn't know you had friends in England?"_ _

__

__Thomas blinked, "I don't. Are you sire it's for me?"_ _

__

__"Yeah honey it's addressed to you, from someone named Newt? I haven't opened it of course, but the return address is in the UK. And there's something strange next to your name, it says 'I don't hate you'?" She elaborated. Thomas's heart sped up._ _

__

__"Could you send it to me? Like, as fast as you can. Um, please?" He couldn't believe this was real. His mom gave a confused confirmation and he promised to explain everything once he read the letter. Then he stared at his phone for several minutes after he'd hung up. This was real._ _

__

__"What the fuck are you staring at your phone like an idiot for?" Minho asked from his bed. Thomas slowly looked up._ _

__

__"I think he wrote to me." he stated dazedly, then clarified, "My soulmate, he wrote to me. And i think his name is Newt." he couldn't quite get over the shock. Thankfully, Minho was ready to help with that._ _

__

__"WHAT?! Are you serious? That's great!" hi's friend shouted enthusiastically and jumped from the bed to lift him up in a bear hug. Thomas finally let out a surprised laugh when he was spun in a circle in Minho's arms._ _

__

__"I know! Oh my god Minho this is amazing!" he buried his head in Minho's shoulder when he was let down, laughing merrily._ _

__

__"I'm so happy for you dude." his best friend told him sincerely._ _

__

__"I'm just glad he's okay. Okay enough to decide to contact me."_ _

__

__"We should celebrate!" He pushed Thomas back to arms length, but kept a firm grip on his shoulders. "I'll call Fry and Brenda and even Gally! You can get Aris and Teresa and we'll all go out. You gotta tell Brenda about this man, she's just as much a part of this as me." Minho babbled, but he was right._ _

__

__Thomas nodded, "Yeah she did help a lot. Any other tattoo artist would have looked at me weird. And she does know the whole story, I think she's more invested at this point than you!" He said with a laugh._ _

__

__So they did go out, and Brenda did get the update, and she did flip. She hugged the life out of Thomas, then jumped around until she landed on Minho's back, demanding he give her a piggyback for her input. They all ended up at their favorite bar where Brenda's dad slipped them alcohol and congratulated Thomas with a drink on the house and a fond "I'm happy for you, hermano". It might have been one of the best nights of Thomas's life._ _

__

__It would have been even better had he noticed the small words being etched into the skin just underneath one of the scars on his wrists the same way he'd embedded those messages for Newt all those months ago. In the morning he'd see them._ _

__

__"Thank you, mate.  
\- Newt"_ _


	2. Only To Finally Find You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newt is eloquent, and a good cook. Thomas is neither, he still manages to say all the right things. And Sonia is a little shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first chapter is finally edited, so now it's easier to look at. this one is easily 2-3 times it's size.  
> I want to do an epilogue bc i've run out of scenes and steam but i want to wrap this up with how things develop past this first meeting.

The letter comes a few days later. 

Thomas almost breaks the speed limit on his way back to their dorm once he's picked it up, on foot. He's pretty sure he hears something break in his bag with the force he uses to throw it at his desk. It might have been his phone. He doesn't care.

____

He opens the letter carefully, taking note of the handwriting, it's the same that's now on one of his wrists. Neat, but slightly loopy and this may just be Thomas looking at it through pink glasses, but it's cute somehow. He takes a deep breath and unfolds the paper.

_Hello Thomas,_

__

_I apologise for taking so long to contact you. Finding you proved to be a tad more difficult than i thought it'd be, and I was in a pretty bad place for a while there, but I'm pretty sure you already know this. Deciding what to do with the information you've given me wasn't easy, I hope you can understand._

____

_I think you'll be happy to hear that I've started therapy about a month ago. This may be a bit much for a first letter but we're obviously both familiar with my mental state, unfortunately. I'm working on it, thanks to you and Sonia. ___

____

__

_I guess you may want to know a bit about me, seeing as this is basically an introduction. Sonia is my younger sister. She is pretty much the only family I have left, and we live in London. I work as a sous chef at a small restaurant, the pay isn't stellar but it's enough to keep us afloat and save up for Sonia's future uni cost. I'm not going to describe how I look because that just feels weird. You're going to have to wait until we meet or connect differently. ___

____

____

_I am, however, going to thank you. You are one of the few reasons I'm still alive and I need you to know how much that means to me. I'm also going to tell you a truth that I probably shouldn't. I thought for a long time that I didn't have a soulmate. When I finally found out that you do exist I became a little bitter for a while. I couldn't understand why you'd keep your existence from me. But I'm sure you had your reasons. God knows I would stay away from myself. Yet here we are now. That's another thing I'm thankful for._

____

____

_This is getting long, and I'm getting rambly, that's a sure sign that I should stop. I'll probably wait a month or two before writing again, but I'll definitely write, even if you don't answer. You don't have to read them all, my therapist says it's good for me and I'm pretty happy at the thought that there's a chance that you may read this. Anyway. ___

____

____

_Thank you Tommy, _  
_Newt. _ ______

____

____

__

__

Thomas reads the letter over several times. Puts it down. Picks it up again. Reads the address on the envelope and picks up his phone.

"Hi mom, I'm gonna need my passport."

~

Customs are a bitch, and so is jetlag, Thomas decides.

He'd landed at Heathrow about two hours ago, and is just now stepping in to his hotel room. Well, more of a motel, but a student can afford only so much. He texts his mom as he drops his duffel on the bed, pulling out a nicer change of clothes than his travel ones. 

His parents had been more than happy to help him, even paid for his plane ticket, which he absolutely wouldn't have been able to afford himself. They had been clued in on his soulmate's situation for a long time, and now that things were finally looking up for the both of them, the Greens couldn't be happier. His dad grumbled about him missing class for a bit, but Thomas just informed him that he was top of his class in every course and that that wouldn't change because of a few missed lectures. He wouldn't have been able to wait until Christmas break anyway. 

Once he's somewhat presentable, he hopes, he takes the envelope and googles the address. Google maps shows him it's a good distance away from his motel, so he takes to the street to try a human GPS instead.

He takes the subway, or the 'tube' as the woman who'd given him directions had said and then decides that just catching a taxi would be faster than wandering around once he arrives at his station. 

The cabbie gives him a discount and wishes him luck. He must have pieced something together from the envelope and scars visible above Thomas's rolled up sleeves. 

The apartment building has an elevator, but he chooses to take the stairs, just to have a bit more time to fight his nerves. Once he finds the right door, he only hesitates for a second before knocking.

A petit blonde girl opens the door for him. That's not Newt. 

"Can I help you?" She inquires. This must be Sonia.

"Uhm, yeah, I'm looking for Newt?" Thomas says and then extends his right arm in greeting, ready to introduce himself. "My name's-"

"Thomas." She interrupts him. Her eyes are fixed on his forearm, recognition painted across her face. She looks up at him in disbelief. "You're bloody joking." 

Thomas blinks. "Um, afraid not? I have the letter he sent me if you don't believe me." He reaches in his pocket for the letter, but she swats his hand before he can get it. 

"Oh I believe you. Only my brother would have a soulmate crazy enough to fly across the pond with no warning." She deadpans. Thomas shrugs. 

"I thought he deserved something special." He tells her easily. It's the truth. 

Sonia regards him for a while, and it's unnerving how the gaze of someone a head shorter than him can freeze him to the spot like that. He realizes he really wants to leave a good impression on her. She opens her mouth to retort, but is interrupted by a voice from somewhere inside the apartment.

"Sonia? What's taking so long? And who's at the door?" Thomas's heart jumps into his throat. Sonia apparently notices this, because she grins and pulls him inside. 

"Newt, I'm going out with Harriet!" She calls back, pulling a light jacket off the rack. Thomas gives her a desperate look. She isn't planning on leaving him to fend for himself, is she?

"What? Is that her? Tell her she can stay for dinner instead!" The voice is getting closer, Thomas is definitely panicking. Sonia punches him in the arm. Hard. He glares at her and rubs the sore spot.

"No it's not her, come see who it is!" The glee in her voice is terrifying. 

"Sonia, if it's the bloody mailman again and you need my signature on something you haven't told me about again I swear to-" and he cuts himself off as he rounds the corner. 

Thomas freezes. Newt gapes. Sonia looks between them excitedly. 

"Uhm, hi..." Thomas says with a little wave. A set of dark eyes almost identical to Sonia's fixes on his forearm, just as hers did. The black ink really does stand out against the pale flesh and borrowed scars. 

"Tommy?" Newt asks in disbelief. 

Sonia squeaks, apparently not able to take it any longer. "Okay! I'm gonna leave you two, you surely have some catching up to do. Stay safe kids! Ta-ta!" And she's out the door. 

They're left alone in the small hallway, standing in awkward silence.

"Well," Newt says, raking his hand through golden locks and ending up scratching the back of his head. "I'm left without a dinner partner. So. Would you like to stay for dinner?" He asks sheepishly. Thomas begins to answer, only to be interrupted by the door slamming open again. 

"Would you like to stay forever?" Sonia interrupts with a triumphant grin, then squeaks and bolts when Newt makes it for the door past Thomas. 

"Stop embarrassing me in front of my soulmate, you little wench!" He calls after her leaning out the door. Her cackling can be heard all the way down the hall. 

Newt turns around with an apologetic smile, "Sorry about that, she's a little shit, but I promise she's nice." He tells Thomas as he closes the door. 

Thomas shrugs and grins, "Oh I don't mind, you two are adorable. Besides, she's no worse than my little brother. I'm sure he would have come up with a more horrible icebreaker." He jokes. 

Newt rolls his eyes at the "adorable" comment, but ignores it in favor of asking, "You have a sibling too?" As he passes Thomas on his way back inside and motions for him to follow. Thomas hangs the jacket he'd been carrying under his arm on the empty space Sonia had left and trails after him.

"Yeah, Chuck. I mean, his name is Charles, but I think he even signs school papers with 'Chuck' at this point." He says thoughtfully and Newt lets out a little laugh that Thomas swears then and there needs to happen more often. 

"I sort of understand him," the Brit admits, "I only put Newton on legal documents these days." Thomas nods, looking at the name on his wrist. "Yeah I can see that." He says absently. 

When he looks up he sees that Newt's cheeks have colored somewhat. "Yeah, I wasn't sure which one I'd put there. I hate my full name but Newt just didn't feel like enough. Until Sonia smacked me and asked me which one would I want you to call me." He says with a half smile.

When he looks up he sees that Newt's cheeks have colored somewhat. "Yeah, I wasn't sure which one I'd put there. I hate my full name but Newt just didn't feel like enough. Until Sonia smacked me and asked me which one would I want you to call me." He says with a half smile. If he keeps it up Thomas thinks he’s going to swoon. 

Instead he goes for leaning on the kitchen counter and watching Newt finish dinner. 

“Now we’ve got each other’s names tattooed onto our skin… It’s like one of those alternate universe tropes.” he says, still a little engrossed in the scar on his wrist. Newt snorts.

“The ones where you get your soulmate’s name and surname on you? The universe wouldn’t be that generous.” he says dryly. 

“Yeah I guess that’s a bit naïve.” Thomas shrugs, “But it is called an Alternate Universe for a reason. Maybe that one would be generous.”

“Those would be some lucky bastards then. Pass me a bowl, they’re in the cupboard behind you.”

Thomas snorts at his comment, “If only.” he gives it a thought as he looks for the bowl though. "You don't consider us lucky?" He asks Newt.

The other man shrugs, "I think the soulmate connections we have are pretty unreliable, yeah."

"No, that's true, but I was referring to the two of us specifically." Thomas elaborates. Newt gives him a long look, his youthful face adopting a somewhat weathered look. Thomas suddenly remembers what Newt goes through practically every day.

"I guess there's a silver lining to our situation." Newt says finally with a small smile that tells Thomas he'd read him like a book. 

He clears his throat and changes the subject. 

"So what are you making?" He tries to peek over Newt's shoulder, which is not an easy task seeing as the Brit is taller than him. Only a tiny bit, but the difference is there. 

Newt chuckles at Thomas's antics, because there really is no need to jump up and down when he can plainly see everything he's doing, and puts a lid on the simmering pot. "Curry. It's almost done too, and you're going to help me set the table." He commands and Thomas does a little salute. 

"I'm realizing that I haven't eaten anything since I got off the plane," Thomas says as he's handed the plates, "and that smells amazing."

"Wait, you came straight here from the airport?" Newt asks him with wide eyes. 

"Pretty much. I just went to the motel to drop my stuff off and headed straight here after." He shrugs a bit sheepishly, "That's why I'm here in England after all."

Newt stares at him for a second, then smiles and takes his hand lightly. "Thank you Tommy. That really means a lot." He tells him softly with a light squeeze, then lets go and moves away to stir the food. 

Thomas stands frozen to the spot, then shakes himself and trails after him back to the stove as if on a leash. 

"You know, I usually hate nicknames, but I think I'll tolerate this one." He tells Newt nonchalantly to cover up how affected he was by the small gesture of intimacy. Newt, of course, sees right through it, if the look he gets is anything to go by. Thomas should really get used to being read in this household. Thankfully though, Newt decides to let it go. "Oh really? I'm honoured. Though I wonder, why do you hate nicknames so much...?" He asks innocently. Thomas knows he's screwed.

"Uhm, it's really stupid..."

"Tell me. You know I will find out sooner or later, and sooner is more beneficial for you, if you want to stay in my good graces." He advises with a devilish smirk. Thomas whimpers.

"Alright it's Greenie." He admits in defeat. Newt snorts, but visibly contains his laughter. Thomas doesn't know whether to be offended or grateful. "I switched schools midway through highschool and being the new kid, coupled with my last name resulted in a horrible nickname that has stuck to this day. The worst bit is, my best friend and a few other people from highschool managed to sell it to the people at college." He explains, making Newt giggle, "Don't laugh! I thought I was turning a new leaf! Startin' fresh! But nooo fuckin Minho and Gally had to ruin my reputation before I even had one." he grumbles. Newt just watches him in amusement while he whines dramatically. 

"Alright Greenie, go put this on the table." He tells him, and Thomas only whines louder. He still obeys the command though. 

"Don't worry, I won't call you Greenie" he reassures, then when Thomas visibly relaxes adds, "much." Just to tease him. "And wash your hands. You've probably brought germs all the way from America."  
Thomas does as he's told while grumbling about "stupid posh Europeans" and "bringing the plague to America, what happened to that" and "killing half the population with their germs, some conquerors you were". Newt finds it incredibly adorable. 

"I'd like to remind you that you're a descendant of those Europeans, while my ancestors never left the UK, thus having nothing to do with your 'conquerors'." He states diplomatically. Thomas scoffs and sits across from him. "Get outta here with your logic." He wrinkles his nose, making Newt laugh. 

Once they've calmed down and Newt distributes the food, Thomas digs in without further ado. 

"I take it the food is acceptable." Newt deadpans.

"Are you kidding me? This is amazing!" Thomas praises, and Newt colors slightly. 

"It's nothing, really. Curry is a really basic dish, it's not rocket science." He says humbly and Thomas points an accusing fork at him. 

"No. You have a skill. I can barely fry an egg, so this is impressive for me. Also, I actually study rocket science and let me tell you, that shit's child's play compared to cooking if you ask me!" Newt doesn't know whether to be bashful or laugh. Thomas seems to inspire that reaction in him often. The laugh wins out in the end, and Thomas beams at him like Christmas has come early. "So what do you study?" He asks to fill the silence.

Thomas chews and swallows before answering, "Engineering. Though I'm taking a few courses in psychology too."

Newt raises a brow. "Because those two definitely go hand in hand." he deadpans, which apparently has an impact, because Thomas looks down.

"It was... Well I took psychology for my every free lecture because of you." He admits. Newt blinks. 

"What?" 

"The only thing I knew about you for years was that you self-harmed." Thomas explains. "So I wanted to understand that. I wanted to be able to connect to that in any way I can, so I did research. I looked for ways to learn everything I could about depression and mental health. I saw it as a way to connect to you. Wow it feels weird to say that out loud." he grimaces, "But it's the truth." 

He looks up across the table at Newt, seemingly waiting for a reaction, but Newt can do nothing more than stare at him silently. Thomas sighs, seemingly steeling himself. "Alright, while I'm at it. Can I tell you something else?" 

Newt nods minutely, then extends his hand and lets Thomas take it in his waiting one. "I could feel them sometimes. The cuts." Newt's breath hitches. "It wasn't like an actual cut, the pain was much duller and weaker, but it made me think that you'd feel mine, if I injured myself. So I tried not to. I didn't want you to feel more pain that you already did." He says to the table. Newt feels a twinge in his heart. He's obviously blaming himself. "Of course, now I know that maybe that would have been better. I'm really sorry." He looks up and there's so much regret in his eyes that Newt feels the need to reassure him. 

"Oh Tommy, I don't blame you!" He adds his other hand to the mix on the table. "If anything, I'm thankful that this brought you to me. Would we have gotten in contact if this hadn't happened?"  
Thomas looks thoughtful, "I mean, tattoos aren't a reliable method of contacting a soulmate. The odds that they will appear on the other's skin are abysmal. I took a gamble with this one," he nods at his forearm, "because I was desperate, but you can't talk about what-ifs Newt, they're just guesswork." 

Newt nods quickly, "Yes, exactly! So don't hang up on what-ifs. We're here now, and you were right before, we are lucky. To have survived and found each other." He says sincerely, eyes trained on Thomas's amber ones. The ones that currently hold astonishment, shock and a little bit of awe. 

"That was so goddamn inspiring but also manipulative? How'd you sidetrack me and then make me glad you did it?" He breathes, and Newt lets out an exasperated laugh. 

"Natural talent. Or maybe you're just weak to my charm." 

"Both. Both is good." Thomas says with a decisive little nod. Newt laughs again. He doesn't know when he last felt this lighthearted with someone who wasn't Sonia. That's probably the point of soulmates though.

The light mood continues through dinner, to the sink where Thomas insists on helping with the dishes, and to the living room where they bicker goodnaturely about what to watch. 

They settle on some show on Netflix that they don’t really watch, choosing instead to talk about everything and anything. Thomas tells Newt more about his family and friends back in America, Newt tells Thomas about his plans to move to Oxford with Sonia once she graduates secondary school. 

“There’s no way we’ll be able to afford her Uni tuition plus the cost of two residences even if she got a dorm room and not a flat, not to mention that London is way more expensive, so the decision was logical, mostly.” He tells Thomas, “I am a bit concerned about her independency though, it must be a pain in the arse to have your big brother on your back all the way through university. I admit I can get a bit fussy.” A little embarrassed laugh escapes him. 

Thomas smiles, “Well I can tell you from experience, having someone familiar there when you start college is a huge relief. If that someone is a sort of protector figure, even better, because it’s a scary new environment. Exciting, but scary as hell. I was lucky enough to have Minho with me, who’s always been sort of a big brother figure for me. And correct me if I’m wrong, but you two do need each other, in a healthy way of course, so I think this would be the right decision to be honest.” He finishes seriously.

“Alright, mister part-time psychology student,” Newt teases, then leans in and pats Thomas’s knee when he seems to deflate, “I’m pulling your leg, you really did make me feel better about it.” He reassures softly, enjoying the relieved smile Thomas shoots him.

Newt’s phone buzzes then, “Speak of the devil.” he mumbles as he picks it up, then frowns at the screen. 

“What’s up?” Thomas asks

“She’s just being a little shit again. Says she’s going to sleep over at Harriet’s, to ‘give us some privacy’” He explains with a grimace. 

Thomas snorts, “Tell her not to worry, I’m a gentleman, I don’t put out on the first date.” He says with a grin.

Newt looks up at him. “Is this a date?” 

That gives him pause, “I mean, I was joking, but if you want it to be…? Sure?” he says with uncertainty in his voice. 

Newt looks down and to the side, hand going to his right forearm unconsciously. He bites his lip, trying to come up with an answer, but Thomas stops him with a gentle hand on his arm. 

“Before you say anything,” he pauses for Newt to give him a nod, “I want you to know that I’m just happy that you’re okay. I’m happy to have met you and to know that there’s a chance of having you in my life, in any capacity. And that means that I’ll be anything you need me to be, without complaint. If you ask me, right now, to fuck off and never talk to you, I’ll only pause to ask you if you’re sure that’s for the best. And this is what I want. I want to know what you need and to do my damn best to fulfill that. So if you were taking my wishes into consideration, now you know them, I wish for you not to.” He’s taken Newt’s hand in his at some point, only taking his eyes off Newt’s for that small amount of time. 

Newt takes in the sincerity in those amber eyes and breathes a sigh of relief. Truth be told he wasn’t sure how Thomas would take what he had to say, seeing how excited he seemed about meeting Newt. The first thing he’d ‘said’ to him was “I love you” after all. He smiles and gives Thomas’s hand a squeeze.

“Thank you. I feel like I’ve been saying that a lot, but that’s because it’s very true.” He tells him, “To be honest, I’m not sure if I’m ready for a relationship. I have so much of my own shit to deal with, and I don’t want to drag you into it like that- I know!” he points at Thomas to stop him when he looks like he’s about to say something, “I know you’d gladly get dragged into it, but this is just something I need to deal with on my own. I’ll feel more comfortable and more confident in myself and my feelings once I’ve proven to myself that I can actually work on this and deal with it on my own. Without depending on anyone for help.” He pauses and looks to his guest for a reaction. Thomas nods his understanding, going to pull away, but Newt tightens his grip on his hand. “Did I say I was finished? No, I don’t think so. As I was saying, I’m not ready to start a relationship until I deal with my own demons, but… I could really use friend.” He says with a smile. A matching one stretches across Thomas’s face. He lets go of Newt’s hand, just to envelop him in the most enthusiastic hug he’s received since that day he woke up in the hospital. He laughs and returns the embrace. 

“Dude. I’m gonna be the best goddamn friend you’ve ever had.” Thomas says seriously when he pulls back, making Newt laugh again. 

“We’re literally made for each other Tommy, there’s not a doubt in my mind that you will.” He says fondly, Thomas beams at him.

“So now that that’s settled, tell me about this Harriet situation, she seems to be very…. Special, to Sonia?” he asks with a raised eyebrow, expression questioning.

Newt groans, “Oh dear lord you have no bloody idea, they’re the worst. So oblivious, I’m tearing my hair out over here.” He tells him exasperatedly. “I’m half convinced they’re soulmates, the only reason I’m not sure is because they should have figured it out long ago if they were. But that’s the thing, they don’t even entertain the thought, that’s how dull they both are!” he complains, waving his hands around. 

“Oh my god that’s amazing.” Thomas laughs “Tell me more, this gossip is food for my queer soul.” He says, leaning on the back of the couch and resting his chin in his hand. Newt laughs and launches into embarrassing stories about his little sister with gusto.

The rest of the night goes like that, alternating between light banter and paying some attention to the TV. It’s well past one o clock when Thomas’s jetlag and exhaustion finally catch up to him and Newt is surprised to note that he’d lost track of time. He lowers a softly snoring Thomas off his shoulder to the sofa and fishes a blanket out of the cupboard. He sets his alarm slightly earlier than he usually would for work. 

~

Thomas wakes up to probably the best view of his life. 

Said view smiles, dark eyes crinkling at the corners, and squeezes his shoulder. “Hey, rise and shine.” 

Thomas returns the smile, then turns away so he doesn’t yawn in his face. “Hey,” he manages, “Did I fall asleep? I’m so sorry.” He tries, but Newt shakes his head. 

“No, I let you sleep, I know you must be jetlagged. But I have to go to work and I don’t want to lock you in.” he explains. 

Thomas blinks once, notices the blanket, “Wait, it’s morning?” 

Newt laughs, “Yeah, now come on, let’s have breakfast.” He gets up and starts for the kitchen, “Bathroom’s that way.” He calls over his shoulder, pointing.

Thomas sits up and rubs his eyes. He checks the time on his phone, then remembers it’s still on American time. “What time is it?” he calls out, then has to blink away his shock when he gets “Half past five in the morning.” as an answer.

When he finally makes it to the kitchen, Newt greets him by handing him plates in a silent command to set the table. It hits him that the ease with which they’ve fallen into each other’s space is something he’s never experienced before. Every other relationship he has took time and effort to build this kind of comfort, even with Minho, but here Newt is, letting him sleep on his couch and ordering him around the kitchen like they’ve known each other their whole lives, even though it’s barely been a day.

He does as he’s told, of course, and breakfast passes with light banter and bickering over the importance of tea in one’s daily routine. Thomas finds it ridiculous, and vouches for coffee, Newt, though agreeing that coffee is a vital part of getting up in the morning, insists that tea is the perfect evening beverage. They agree to disagree, followed by Newt’s murmured “you Americans and your lack of etiquette”, because he just has to get the last word. 

“You’re going back to the motel, yeah?” Thomas nods, “Alright if you’re going to sleep, try to get up by noon at the latest, otherwise you’ll fuck up your sleep schedule nice and proper.” Newt advises and he rolls his eyes.

“Alright, whatever you say mom.”

“Told you I could get fussy.”

“I love it though.” 

Newt colors. Thomas grins. 

“Alright, you get to do the dishes for that. I need to get ready for work.” He states and Thomas sputters.

“I get punished?!”

“Yep!” and he’s gone. 

Thomas spends the whole he’s time washing the dishes grumbling.

He insists to walk Newt to work though, and even with his grogginess and the cold of the early morning he manages to enjoy himself immensely. Newt makes him take a scarf, which Thomas finds extremely cute, and they slowly make their way to the restaurant Newt works at. 

“Hey, I was thinking,” Newt tells him along the way, “out sofa’s free… for the foreseeable future, and you said your motel was a ways away, so I thought, maybe I could save you the journey… and some money…” he mumbles, then looks at Thomas sheepishly, apparently hoping that he won’t need to finish the offer. 

Thomas pretends to mull it over, then grins back, “Your couch is surprisingly comfortable,” He says, then after a thought adds, “but I’m paying for half all the food,” extending a hand for Newt to shake.

“Deal.” The Brit says and takes his hand. “Now give me your phone.” When Thomas hands it over, he continues, “Get a tourist sim cad before you contact me, it’ll be cheaper. Also buy a bloody umbrella, they’re five quid, you’ll need it.” He says and hands him the phone back. 

Thomas eyes the clouds hanging low above London, “Alright, yeah you might be right.” Newt smirks at him.

“So I’ll see you this afternoon?” he ventures. 

“I’ll pick you up from work, when do you finish?”

“Tommy, you don’t have to-“

“No, no, I want to, I don’t have a lot of luggage, and I wanna go out today, even if it’s to burger king or something.” 

Newt chuckles, “Alright, how about this, I’ll give you Sonia’s number as well, so you can drop your things off at my place before coming here. Then I can give you a little tour of London. That sound good?” he squeezes Thomas’s hand with both of his and Thomas realizes they hadn’t let go of each other yet. 

“Yeah, that sounds great.” He says dazedly, and Newt beams at him.

“Great!” he echoes and leans in to give him a peck on the cheek. “See you then. Now go get some sleep.”

Thomas snaps out of his trance only when he feels the cold when Newt steps away from him. “Yeah, see you.” 

“And don’t forget the sim card!”

~

_Lanky Bastard _: Thomas will be staying with us while he’s here.__

__

____Little Witch _ _: I take it u had fun last night then ;)___ _ __

___ _

_____Lanky Bastard _ _: Shut up we just watched some telly and talked. But yeah, it was fun. I take it you and Harriet had a boring evening if you’re so determined to mock me first thing in the morning?___ _ _ __

___ _

_____Little Witch _ _: Oh u ARE cruel. I’m proud.___ _ _ __

___ _

_____Lanky Bastard _ _: Be nice to him. He’ll text you sometime today and stop by to drop off his things.___ _ _ __

___ _

_____Little Witch _ _: U havin a date??___ _ _ __

___ _

_____Lanky Bastard _ _: Sonia please. I can explain everything to you when I’m on break if you want, but please just drop it?___ _ _ __

___ _

_____Little Witch _ _: Ok ok I’ll stop. I’m rly happy for you tho. Just letting u know. <3___ _ _ __

___ _

_____Lanky Bastard _ _: Thank you. I’m quite happy myself :) <3 ______ _ __

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tell me if you want that epilogue!  
> also i love all of u for the comments and kudos!  
> and Bookmarks! can't forget those!

**Author's Note:**

> This can in itself be the end of the fic but I simply cannot contain myself when it cones to pushing a story.  
> So there will be another chapter.  
> Possibly tomorrow.


End file.
